If ever there was a car that totally sabotages Lincoln’s efforts at wooing younger buyers, it’s this one.
This land yacht is about as hip as chest-high white polyester slacks.
The redesign of the Town Car, first seen two years ago, didn’t help a lot. With its rounded flanks, the car looks even larger than it is, with a bulbous butt that lacks the quiet sophistication of the previous design. It looks especially bad in light colors, with the refrigerator-white test car looking like it was ready for service at the rental car counter.
It’s not that the image of the Town Car offends me.
Big American land yachts encrusted with chrome can be hip and stylish. For proof of this, look no further than the Chrysler Concorde/LHS/300M.
While the Town Car tries too hard to be something, the result is a disappointing one. Certainly the Continental, not a whole lot smaller than this car, is much more successful in carrying a styling direction for Lincoln.
Of course, you wouldn’t mind the looks as much if the Town Car was a real revelation to drive. It is and isn’t.
If you purchase any series — base Executive, mid-level Signature Series or top-of the-line Cartier, you’ll get the traditional floaty boat, with the all-ashore-that’s-going-ashore handling.
Lincoln does offer a Touring Sedan package on the mid-level Signature series. It features larger tires, a stiffer suspension, dual exhausts, monochrome paint treatment and minor interior trim variation. While the stiffer suspension firms up the handling enough to get this whale to Watusi, it doesn’t do it enough to eliminate front-end float. It also doesn’t help the power-numbed steering. Yet this car does handle a whole lot better than previous Town Cars, so having a little fun behind the wheel is possible.
The problem is that the car fails to telegraph any indication of the rear coming loose until after it’s loose. And it’s easy to do so with the Touring Sedan, despite the presence of anti-lock brakes and traction control. Furthermore, this car needs lots of little corrections to keep it pointed straight down the highway.
Cars this big can be fun to drive, just try out a Jaguar XJ6L or a BMW 740IL, two that come close to matching the Town Car’s girth. So, it’s not impossible to dial back a bit more of the numbness.
And Ford can do better. The Ford Crown Victoria and Mercury Grand Marquis, with which the Lincoln shares its underpinnings and engine, seem to handle the task with more poise.
The engine these three cars share is a 4.6-liter single-overhead-cam V-8 that pumps out 205 horsepower. Opting for the Touring Sedan package yields dual exhaust and 220 horsepower. Being a luxury car, you’d expect more power than this — effortless, sparkling acceleration. But the Town Car, while yielding a respectable 18 mpg in mixed driving, is almost underpowered. While it reaches 60 mph in under 10 seconds, this is stately cruising at best. The four-speed automatic tended to hesitate before downshifting.
Okay, so Town Car buyers aren’t burning up the road, but they are entitled to at least a hefty amount of luxury gear. But the Town Car isn’t as luxurious as you might expect. While it has the requisite power trappings, it doesn’t have some features available on other cars. There’s no dual climate control up front, even as an option. The express-down window is express-down only on the driver’s window and it has no express-up.
Features like a power pull-down trunk and keypad entry under the door handles, available on previous models, are no longer available on the Town Car (despite the presence of keypads on the cheaper Crown Victoria and Grand Marquis.)
The odd shape of the trunk continues, with a deep center well that isn’t as big as it looks. There’s no extra tool kit or cargo net as in competitors’ cars. A trunk-mounted CD-changer is an option. So is a full-si zed spare tire.
Interior appointments are of average quality, but this just doesn’t feel like a luxury car. Leather is used only on the seating surface; the rest is expertly matched vinyl. The back of the front seats have shallow pockets trimmed with a hard plastic panel. Actually hard plastic shows up in too many places inside this car.
The seats were comfortable, if flat. I defy anyone over five-feet-tall to find any comfort in the center front seat position. The rear seat is comfortable, if a bit short. Headroom with the power sunroof seemed a little scarce. The front driver’s seatback seemed too reclined, even at full upright position. Leg room all around is not as generous as it should be considering the external dimensions of the car.
If I’ve been a bit harsh on this car, it’s just that it isn’t really strong in any area, be it styling, engine power, features or lust factor. There’s nothing here that can’t be had for almost half the price — from a Crown Victoria or Mercury Grand Marquis.
At the very least, Ford should equip this car with the double-overhead-cam 4.6-liter engine, as it does with the smaller Continental. Buyers shelling out this much money deserve it.
But the availability of a Hearse Package and a Limousine Package reveals this car’s true intent.
How sad.
Having grown up riding in the big powerful Lincolns of the ’60s, with clean, lean, good looks, this car seems a mediocre substitute.
Ford is capable of better.
Start with the name. Get rid of it. A Town Car traditionally was a car that had a chauffeur up front while the owner rode in the back. Given some of the handling of this car, maybe that’s the intent.
Then give it lots of power and knockout styling. Don’t let the accountants get a hold of the car.
It’s okay if it is big. Just make it get out of its own way. Then maybe, I’ll want to drive it.
>> 2000 Lincoln Town Car
Vehicle type: Full-size rear-wheel-drive luxury sedan.
Engine: 4.6-liter SOHC V-8
Transmission: 4-speed automatic
Wheelbase: 117.7 inches
Length: 215.3 inches
Weight: 4,075 pounds
Cargo volume: 20.6 cubic feet
Tires: P223/60R16
Base price: $40,630
EPA rating: 17 city, 24 highway
Test mileage 18 mpg
Fuel type: regular
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